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By Hugh Betcha, September 3, 2010 7:55 AM

I got this over the top greeting from ''Mr. Over the Top'' himself.

On this 20th Day of Festivus I wanted to share with all of you the following greeting I received from my biggest fan. Perez Hilton (come on, you know you would have harassed this guy in high school) has been after me to do a project with him on Hollywood celebs. I told him that it just isn’t my thing. I find most of those people to be too self absorbed. I’d much rather do something on the peccadilloes of 17th century French artistocrats. I just wouldn’t want to have been around for the French Revolution.

It’s hard to believe that today is the 20th of Festivus. Salsa Day! And I’ve made up a batch of Uncle Bucky’s Dirty White Boy Sonoran Style Salsa with Cilantro. Say THAT 5 times real fast. If you dip deep into a heaping bowl of Unlce Bucky’s you’ll almost swear you can smell the green chiles roasting over a real donkey dung fire. MMMMmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMM!!!!

Seeing how it’s Friday I’m going to finish some chores in preparation of The Chiefie’s return and then work on tomorrow’s post. I saw an interesting bumper sticker yesterday. It reminded me of how much has changed about this country in the last half century. I’ll leave you with this bit of wit & wisdom.

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
- Groucho Marx

Hugh loves ya, Baby!

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By Hugh Betcha, August 17, 2010 5:00 AM

''Can you spell HERNIA?''

Today is a strength training day. I’ll be working out with free weights and using the exercise ball for balance and stretching routines. On alternate days I mix it up with an intense cardio activity and some work with light dumbells. I’m surrounded with dumbells!!

My progress is slow but sure. I’ve charted weight change along with other vital measurements. Often times a change in weight alone can be misleading as to overall progress in fitness training. I’m learning alot as I go along. I have some goals I expect to meet or exceed by Labor Day.

In addition to these feats of enormous strength, I usually have several hours to devote to physical labors on a daily basis. Thanks to “The Chiefie” there are always tasks at which I will spend joyful hours toiling away. This week I will be finishing up some landscaping I started with the help of Tim K. and his Bobcat. We spent half a day last Monday earning our tough guy creds in the blistering heat of the Tucson sun. I’ll post some photos of the pygmie date palms and boulders at another time. For now, I’ll get to the heavy lifting. I sure hope my face doesn’t look like that!

I will leave you to celebrate the remaining 57 days of Festivus in you own ways. I, meanwhile, will finish the traditonal observances that make this such a heartfelt time of year. We will proceed tomorrow with the wearing of funny costumes, followed by the all night vigil on the rooftop under the stars (clothing optional) and continuing with the weeks long Fruit & Veggie Symbiosis/Predation Ordeal. Anyone who needs assistance is advised to contact Bucky O’Hara on that one. He wrote the rule book when it comes to the assimilation and propagation of new plant/animal species.
Write to: Bucky@HughCares.net

It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.
Judith Martin, (Miss Manners)

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By Hugh Betcha, August 15, 2010 1:05 PM

Frank Costanza - The Founder of Festivus

This is definitely from the category of All About Hugh. In fact, it is the season of Hugh. The time has arrived when we celebrate Hugh on earth and goodwill toward men (and ladies, too). It is Festivus for the rest of us!

About a dozen years ago I decided that the summer was too boring around the Old Pueblo and borrowed a holiday expression from the Seinfeld show. Thus was born a birthday commemoration to highlight the summer. The initial idea was to celebrate one day for each year of Hugh’s life. Being nearly 50 at the time we were able to have a special day for almost the entire summer. This year we altered the tradition and begin with August 15th instead of culminating the celebrations on that momentus date.

The season began quietly with visits to Brother “Joe Mama” and Tucson Fred to bestow tokens of friendship and exhange cheerful greetings and good tidings. I then went to Inka’s Peruvian Restaurant, with old friend Allberto, where we enjoyed an epicurian delight and some Pisco Sours – on the house – Alberto has an in with the owner.

Later we enjoyed a two beer limit under the misters at Sakura’s listening to some 70s soul and R&B. We had a nightcap At the nighborhood Famous Sam’s. Their band was also stuck in the 70s, but more prone to Lynyrd Skynyrd and ZZ Top.

We stopped for some high octane brew (coffee) at Big Al’s joint and then it was home for a dip in the spa and off to Dreamland.

Today I enjoyed French Toast with bacon and have relaxed with a good book for most of the day. We will enjoy Italian cuisine for 1st of Festivus dinner. All in all it will be a rather peaceful time, so rest up; tomorrow we have the “Airing of Grievances” followed by “Feats of Strength” on Tuesday. Until then…

Hugh Love ya, Baby!

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By The Real Hugh, June 2, 2010 5:30 PM

I recently made the acquaintance of a pair of gentlemen from Russia. Having grown up in the midst of the “Cold War” I am naturally distrustful of those who pronounce the letter “V” as “W” as in “Wodka.” Each of our sides, in those days, was convinced by equally obsessed Leaders that “They” were out to destroy “Us”. Communism was the arch enemy of Democracy and vice versa.

Sacha (Defender of Man*), however, is an extremely charming and charismatic individual who has traveled to all the continents on the planet and speaks fluently in four languages. His knowledge and interests run the spectrum of Art, Theater, Sports, Literature, world affairs and on and on. His soft spokeness puts you immediately at ease and his smile seems most genuine. An infectious laugh is the perfect blend of warmth and amity.

Grigori (The Watcher*), on the other hand, is as cold and ruthless appearing as Sacha is gregarious. His stare can melt steel. His purose is that of a bodyguard as near as I can tell. Wherever you find Sacha you will find Grigori a step or two away. They appear to be two sides of a coin.

Grigori: The Mind of a Killer, no heart, no soul.

Being introduced to Sacha by a mutual associate in business led me to believe that Sacha was sincere in his interest in a charitable cause that is close to my heart. His enthusiasm, like everything about him, draws you like an inescapable tide. He had a good deal of knowledge about the subject that very much impressed me. I was even more impressed by the sights and sounds of the many places he showed me as we spent a week traveling in America and abroad. Having his own private jet gave us access to every corner of the globe. It was an alluring and intoxicating adventure.

The entire time I believed that I was courting him as a major donor to my cause, it was he who was courting me, as I later learned, to be his dupe. As I eventually discovered there would be containers transported monthly into our country and special accounts that would be needed for the transfer of large sums (millions) of cash on a regular basis. It finally dawned on me that the scheme involved money laundering and the smuggling of drugs or human cargo – I don’t even want to know which – into the U.S. How easily I was fooled by the charade. The hope for a large endowment had clouded my judgement.

It seems we see what we want to see. The glitz and glamour of our surroundings had slowly changed over the days and nights as the landscape took on a dark macabre feeling. Unscrupulous figures were skulking about in the shadows. I was shown more of the workings of Sacha’s “Underworld” until I felt compelled to run to avoid be sucked down into a hellish abyss. I was now acutely aware of the true nature of my companion and his entourage.

We can be easily decieved when evil wears a pretty face. I’m not sure if Grigori is symbolic of my own intimidating conscience or is simply evil personified. I do know that he is one of the scariest characters to populate my dreams in some time. Oh, did I neglect to mention that these two were figments of my disturbed inner mind. Well, so they are.

The significance of this dream has given me pause. I will certainly want to scrutinze some of my associates more closely and reevaluate any new business ventures. There is usually revelance to be found in dreams and often they are reflections of actual events in our daily lives. Just remember to beware of the Russians. I still have difficulty trusting them.

*These name meanings were found online.

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By The Real Hugh, May 23, 2010 3:56 PM

This morning was a thoughful one. As I tended to tasks out among the cactus I was approached by a hummingbird in flight. He was out for an early breakfast no doubt. I stood still and he appeared not to notice me even as he came within two feet of me. Thoughts of the wonder and abundance of nature filled my teeny brain as I watched in awe.

I was reminded, as I am each year about this time, that the more I learn, the more I realize how little I actually know; how little any of us can know. The total knowledge of mankind is less than a water droplet in the ocean of universal knowledge. There is wisdom and knowledge that do not even exist to our unevolved minds that may one day be revealed.

Each year, as summer approaches, I take inventory and make assessments about my progress toward personal growth. Why now? Instead of the calendar year, I tend to coincide my introspective periods with the approaching anniversary of my birth. In addition to issues of health and finance I review what I’ve learned about myself and the world around me. Most of it has to do with the influence by internal and external forces on the way we perceive and create reality inside our heads.

The majority of what composes Existence (I use a capital E to express the totality of creation) is beyond the scope of our feeble faculties to perceive. Like sounds only a dog can hear, there is much that we fail to see. The rest is distorted by our limited ability to assimilate all the data that bombards us. So, in the end it is filtered by our brains and influenced by our personal bias to the point that the remainder is little more than illusion.

I realize that the next book I read from the library or the next science or history documentary I view is unlikely to provide a supreme answer to the meaning of life, but, then again, each step along the path is a step toward progress and perhaps makes life a little meaningful. If it makes us more understanding and tolerant of others, then that is an accomplishment. If it makes us more compassionate to the needs of the less fortunate, then it has taught us to grow within. If it makes us more aware of life’s opportunities then it has proved worthwhile.

Use each day as an opportunity to learn and to grow. Make it a point to review your day and appreciate the process. Sequential recollection practiced daily will not only improve memory it will enhance the value of each day’s lessons. Take the time to observe, analyze and to comprehend the magic and mystery that is you. Make life a voyage of self discovery. Bon Voyage!

- Hugh Betcha

“Not all those who wander are lost.” – J.R.R. Tolkien

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By Bucky O'Hara, April 5, 2010 11:32 AM

Hello there,

- Howie Doohan

Greetings People of the Fourth Cycle,

Providence has brought about my return to you here on Earth. My journey has been one of purification and enlightenment. I have been far and yet have remained near. My mind has experienced the incomprehensible and I have even ceased to exist. True annihilation!

During my absence I was placed in a granzfeld state (no, that isn’t the latest Cinderella team to make the Final Four) and was soon having an OBE. I was no where and I was everywhere.

I stand before you now as a true “Aquarian”, the next stage in the evolution of our species. Possessing abilities far beyond those of mere mortals I now see the new age as it will unfold.

Precognition, Psychokinesis and Telepathy are but the rudiments of these new powers. In fact I also possess the power to resurrect the dead.

“You’re crazy, Hugh!”

I knew you would say that. Let me make this prediction as a demonstration of my new found omniscience.

December 20, 2011 – Apple Inc.

“Virtual urination” and wi-fi features are also included. Samsung and Blackberry and expected to announce their own versions of this device at the CES Convention next month in Las Vegas. The iPeed will retail for $299. -

“That is really stupid, Hugh”

And I knew you were going to say that! Need I provide any further evidence. I think not. Besides, I tire of the banality of this trivial existence and yearn to commune with my inter-dimensional brethern. Leave me now. I will send word of what I expect from you later.

Hugh Betcha – The Divine

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By The Real Hugh, March 14, 2010 9:05 AM

I sit here tired with aching muscles and sagging eyelids. The coffee tastes great and the sun is shining. Sundays are always inspiring after a Saturday spent breaking a sweat and possibly my back. There were several tasks completed and many things accomplished. I’ll post some photos of my new fire pit and loafing bench out at the “Man Cave.” We enjoyed a quiet hour of reflection there last night.

Today I feel motivated to suggest something that will inspire people to get better acquainted with one another. We pass by people everyday and have opportunities to offer more than a grunted hello or half-hearted smile and we fail to interact. Perhaps times have just made us less sociable. So next time your are standing in line at the bank or waiting to see the Dentist, I want you to introduce yourself to a stranger (yes, use your real name) and strike up a conversation. Listen to what that person has to say. Learn their story, everyone has something to offer. I think you will find the experience rewarding in and of itself.

After about five minutes I want you to try something a little different. Look wistfully into the other persons eyes for a moment and say something like, “I want you to have my baby!” It makes no difference if it is a man or woman. You could also try wearing a serious expression and ask them, “Have you ever considered becoming a member of the American Nazi Party?” You might further explain that you are from the planet Xeira in a far away galaxy or prehaps a parallel universe. Either way it will certainly liven up the conversation.

Give them a moment or two to react. Make note of changes in their facial expressions or any unusual hand gestures. If they are holding an umbrella, cane or other potential weapon, you may want to remain at a safe distance. If things get reallly out of hand I recommend fleeing while screaming, “Scotty! Beam me up!” One more thing; don’t call me to make your bail.

Hello dere!! - Marty Allen from hellodere.com

It is a beautiful day in Tucson, if it is that way where you are, take some time to go out and walk around in the sunshine. It will renew and refresh your spirit. Make the most of your day by spending it with someone you love. I hope you had a good laugh.

Hugh loves ya, Baby!

Hugh Betcha

Mark Twain:
The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven.

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By Hugh Betcha, March 9, 2010 9:44 AM

Brig. General Tony McAuliffe’s reply to the German’s demands to surrender at Bastogne was simply “Nuts!” I know how you feel General. It seems that everyday we are asked in one way or another to surrender more and more of our dignity, self-respect, self-determination and finally our assets, that’s spelled M-O-N-E-Y!

Sometimes even a simple task has become a maze of convoluted and meaningless policies and procedures in this post 911 world. After drawing out more cash than needed I went to redeposit the remainder. No big deal, right? Wrong! I had rushed out minus my “picture ID” and had no way to establish my identity. I offered a thumb print to accompany the signature they require in order to make deposits and was rejected. REJECTED! Wait a minute this is a deposit not a withdrawal.

These days they scrutinize every bill and make every attempt to make you feel unworthy or unclean morally and ethically. Businesses where you may have been a client for 25 years or more no longer care to provide the basic customer service that we used to expect and demand. Banks especially even disclaim or fail to recognize past patronage. One told us recently that they had no record of being extended credit except for a Christmas loan several years ago. In reality we had financed several vehicles there over decades in addirtion to various personal loans.

Part of the blame is with short term service of the frontline staffing. They don’t know how long you have been a customer and don’t seem to care. When confronted with a request for product or service we have used for years, though not perhaps recently, a store or bank employee will oten respond that such a thing is not available and never has been as long as they have worked for the “XYZ Co.” When asked how long that has been the answer is usually less than a year.

Attitude is sometimes good and employees attempt to be helpful, but training is lacking and they just don’t know. When a “Supervisor” is called they are typically wrong as well. Too mant times soemone is busy making knuckleheaded decisions to cut out the “meat and potatoes” of business that hamper those dealing with the public in ways that leave them helpless.

I only meant to rant briefly this morning. I have been working on a post that is taking quite a bit more research than I expected. I should have part one ready by tomorrow. Yes, it looks like it will be a two part story. Go have another coffee or tea or beer, whatever, while I deal with the dunder heads and try to get some work done.

Hugh Loves ya, Baby!

Hugh Betcha

Take a trip with me! Hit play and transport yourself onto the Crazy World of Arthur Brown.

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By Hugh Betcha, March 1, 2010 9:51 AM

March 1st begins the season of Angels for Hugh. His three darling Granddaughters celebrate their birthdays during this early season of the year and through Easter. A picture speaks a thousand words, but words cannot express all the emotions that are felt by being a Grandfather.

She is alot like her Mom. 7 Years old March 1, 2010.

Joelle's Birthday March 11, 2008 - First teenage granddaughter

***************************************************************

Honk - Name of the musical - circa 2008

AskHugh@hughcares.net

Hugh Loves ya, Baby!

George Bernard Shaw:
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

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By Joe Mama Betcha, February 27, 2010 3:36 AM

Make it an extra large on that coffee, Dear. The Party has started in Daytona and those customs never looked “purtier.” I’m ready to ride.
February 26th through March 6th, 2010 – Daytona Bike Week is where the fun is at.

It gets wild in Florida during Bike Week as you can see from this video of last year’s event. It’s not too late to get in on the action. Ride all day, ride all night, just get there. There will be miles of chrome and leather covered V-twin leviathans. There’ll be bearded, leather clad bikers sporting lots of tatoos. And wait til you see what the guys look like. Pretty freaky! Did you see that Trike shaped like a double-cheeseburger in the video? I think that was Mayor McCheese riding that thing.

Custom paint - nice chrome!

I guarantee that there will be plenty to see and do during the week long festivities. If you can’t make it this year it’s never to late to start planning for 2011. Be sure to use the links to find more details on this exciting extravaganza. It’s Bike Week, you gotta love it!

If you don’t ride then you probably won’t understand it. There is a passion people have for their 2 wheeled “scrap iron” that is deeper than it is for the 4 wheel variety. And in some parts of the country it is primo riding weather. By May it will be getting pretty hot at mid-day here in the desert. By August the best ride is at about dawn.

Any day that you can ride is a good day in my book. Even time spent shining up the chrome is like time spent with your best friend. It just doesn’t get any better than this. There are the sights, the sounds and the smells of the road, all are part of the lure of a gypsy-like mystique created from biker legends.

Ever notice how often the graphics include flames? Cause it's hot in Hell!

Do me one favor. If you end up going and have a bit too much to drink, please have a designated driver. One more thing, wait to sober up before you decide on getting that tatoo. You may not ever see “Sylvia” again or even remember her face, until she shows up next year with a bambino that looks very, very much like you!

Don’t forget to gas up and check the tires before you mount up. Maybe we’ll see you in Sturgis this summer. Watch out for those prairie dogs. Remember to keep the shiny side up and the rubber side down.

Hugh Loves ya, Baby!

Albert Einstein:
Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value.